See that broken ornament? That is how my heart feels right now. I recently experienced my first robbery, and it took place in an area that I, as an employee, was responsible for. The culprit was potentially dangerous so it really is for the best that I wasn’t closer. BUT, I can’t help feeling guilty. I have been through the gamut of emotions. Shock at what took place. Guilt that it happened in my department. Anger that I was taken advantage of. Fear of what could have happened. Relief that I am alive and safe. Determination to never let it happen again (hence the title, a nod to “Home Alone 2”). After one too many nightmares, I am feeling a little better this morning. Dried pineapple and Christmas movies are helping along the process.
I should most definitely be in bed considering I have had intense headaches on and off for the past three days. However, here I am at 3am wide awake; my brain is working overtime. Many changes have taken place in my life over the past three years, and the process has been overwhelming. There have been moments when I chose to not think, ignore the problem, and pretend like everything is A-OK. The emotional pain has been easier to deal with in parts. I have a breakdown, struggle through the resulting depression, feel a little better, and wait for the next breakdown. It is incredibly hard to move away from a place you called home for thirteen years. No words can describe the pain of letting go of a life I thought I would have forever. I never once considered that God would uproot me and my family and take away the house, the people, and the atmosphere I was familiar with. Routines are my comfort zone. Anytime change comes along, I panic. Hence my earlier statement about shutting down and becoming a zombie. I have no regrets about the jobs I accepted, the events I volunteered for, and the people I associated myself with. I have vivid memories, both positive and negative; at least I have something to remember. During this time of transition, social media has been a great tool for staying in contact with friends. However, it has also been a window for watching life go on without me. As I said before, I never once thought my life would change so drastically. Now that my comfort zone is gone, I realize how much the small things meant to me. For those of you who are letting go of something or someone right now, I am right there with you. The process sucks, plain and simple. Cling to the happy memories and the hope that something even better is right around the corner. Oy vey! That was cheesy enough to stop my tears. But seriously, give yourself time to mourn and adjust. I stayed up late Monday night eating goldfish and watching episodes of “Make It or Break It.” I know, I know. I am practically the conductor of the crazy train. My point is that taking the time to do something you know will instantly make you happy works wonders for your mood. One step at a time. Breathe in, breathe out…
This quote scares me to death, but I suppose that is a good thing: “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
Think happy thoughts readers!! :)
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Lauren Michele ❤️ 
